September, Week 3, 2013

No income, no motivation and nothing good to eat. There’s stuff all over the floor and it’s increasing, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. I haven’t got many clothes or many possessions and, despite the recent weight I’ve been putting on, I haven’t eaten enough to be leaving such waves of litter. All of this is making me feel worthless while I’m sitting here with my shirt off and staring down at the rolls of my stomach. What’s happening now has been my entire week: repetitive and uneventful. I haven’t organised or cleaned anything, and I’ve only left the flat twice since Monday for food.

On the other hand, I’ve been popular the past seven days. There’s been an influx of messages from different friends this week asking me to hang out with them. I turned them all down of course, but it’s nice to know I’ve been remembered. I even got a text from my ex-girlfriend a few minutes ago. Now someone’s banging on the door. It must be her. I shout out “give me a minute” even though I’ll need more than that to clean this mess.

The story behind that week: I stayed in for most of it and I am very messy, but I do have an income. I’m actually with my girlfriend so she isn’t an ex and she wouldn’t come to my place unannounced.